Tuesday, November 08, 2011

November 8th: The Square Root of Sixty-Nine is 8 Something, Right?

We all heard a cheesy pick up line here and there. Either a girl trying to be seductive or some guy attempting to pick up a gal. Here are 8 pick up lines that have been over-used and abused!

1. God does not throw his angels down from Heaven.

Psycho pick-up liner: Did it hurt, ma'am?
Victim: Um...what did?
Psycho pick-up liner: When you fell from Heaven?
Victim: *looks around*

2. Nobody controls the alphabet, you dumbass!

Psycho pick-up liner: If I could, I'd rearrange the alphabet for you.
Victim: Um...okay...
Psycho pick-up liner: I'd make sure U and I were togheter.
Victim: I said okay...not go on. *looks around*

3. Fine line between pick-up line and possible rape case!

(as victim is leaving)
Psycho pick-up liner: Hey, Ma'am, you forgot something!
Victim: I don't believe I did.
Psycho pick-up liner: You forgot me!
Victim. Creep! *looks around*

4. Use the map to run away. Far far away!

Psycho pick-up liner: Sorry Ma'am, do you have a map?
Victim: (looks around the bar): This is a bar, why do you need a map?
Psycho pick-up liner: Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.
Victim: Then do like me. Look away. *looks around*

5. Quite possibly the reason women carry pepper spray!

Psycho pick-up liner: Hello, you'd better call the police!
Victim: Um...Why?
Psycho pick-up liner: I came to steal your heart.
Victim: (Screams and runs)

6. The classic tale of better not fall in love or your lie's exposed, buddy!

Psycho pick-up liner: I only have three months to live.
Victim: Awhh pooky-bear. (Goes in for a kiss)
(After three months)
Psycho pick-up liner: I have three more months to live.
Victim: Awhh pooky-bear. (goes in for a kiss)

7. If she didn't heat you by now, she will now!!

Psycho pick-up liner: Hey I'm new in town, I'm So-and-So.
Victim: I'm Not Easy, i'm sure you get lost all the time!!
Psycho pick-up liner: Yes, can you show me the way to your appartment?
Victim: Um...*looks around* *backs away* *runs!!*

8. If the previous seven failed. Try this one. It's a guarantee hit!

Psycho pick-up liner: Excuse ma'am, do you have a quarter?
Victim: A quarter? What for?
Psycho pick-up liner: So I can call your mother and thank her
Victim: *blushes*

Oh pick-up lines, they've almost became the mascot for bar-meeting. They are ALL cheesy, do not get me wrong, but sometimes they can work. If the girl is also fucking drunk. If not - not a chance!

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

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