Cheap Gas on Dull Days

Merp. It's Tuesday, there's no holidays this week and it's super ugly outside. Add to that the fact that my burning relationship with someone very important to me has turned to ashes. I normally would feel crippled and sluggish but my day actually started out well.

I got to the gas station, which was busier than an anthill on picnic day, and was surprised with the good news that there was no more regular gasoline but that I could get supreme gasoline for the same price. Um, bonus!

So I walk (through a sheet of rain) into the store to pay for this super awesome deal when I'm knocked over by another (mini) super awesome deal. The man ahead of me had a gasoline coupon for $1.00 off with any purchase of gas over $25.00. He didn't put that much gas in so gave me the coupon. Doesn't sound like much, but the gesture was very much appreciated.

Rain kept falling and people kept coming in the store and by the time I get to my turn, the power went out. I'm just about ready to panic and drop my all-is-okay act by roaring like a hungry lion from the steppes of Africa, when the girl at the cash informs us that the machines still work for payment. Yes, not gonna be late for work!

Pay my gas, thank the lady, thank the man, walk back into the rain, run to my car, get into it, blast Lana Del Rey, and I get back on the road. Only to be stuck in traffic. I'm thinking lady luck wouldn't stop her streak just yet, surely not now, not to me... so I decide to give my shortcut a try and...OMG, made it to the bridge in five minutes! Lana sings about fucking her way to the top and I'm singing about speeding my way to the stop.

So I finally reach my parking spot only to find that it's full. Now I'm gonna be late. So I text my boss to say i'll be late and to my surprise I get a "I will also be late lol" text back. To me, that only means one thing: I have time to pick up coffee.

Finally, I get to my desk with my coffee, my smile, and a positive attitude.

That's how you turn a day around! :)

Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink.

Eleven's Ink on... Letting Go and How Hard it Is To Do.

I often get asked how I feel about one topic or another. I am very opinionated and tend to be a bit more verbose than I should. The fact that I used verbose should be an indicator. The fact that I explained why is just proof beyond proof.


WTF Happened?!
So you just said goodbye to a friend, a lover, an important person in your life, and you're trying to assess the information. You re-read the texts, the FB messages; you grab at all the pieces that fell and try to assemble the puzzle. You think you have the answers, but every answer leads to another question. Did I end it? Did they end it? How did it come to this? You Google search "How to cope with endings" and "How to start anew" simultaneously until you realise that a Netflix Marathon is a hell of a better idea.

It's totally fine. I'm okay, I swear. KILL ME NOW!

You've had your first night's sleep. You probably slept like a baby cause your mind totally warped at the end of the season 3 finale of Dexter. You're most likely groggy and - OMG YOU JUST REMEMBER THAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP/KINSHIP ENDED. It's fine, you say. You calm yourself down and decide a shower is perfect to wash away the memories. Totally fine, right? Wrong, and cue the thought process: "how the fuck did this happen? Why aren't they texting me? Should I text them? No, no I'm totally fine. Don't cry, don't cry. Smile! Omg I'm crying. No I'm fine!" You basically want to place your own crazy self in an asylum for weeks on weeks to numb out the pain.

But everything was perfect!
You've gathered the puzzle pieces, but the end result does not resemble the picture on the box at all. You've accepted that it's your fault, their fault, your fault, their fault, and now you just want to plump on the couch with jalapeno pizza and forget it all. But you see their face in one of  the jalapeno slices. And the melted cheese reminds you of a steamy night you had with them. Oh and that fucking marinara sauce smells exactly like them!! And you finish by throwing the pizza on the wall and remembering just how magical everything was. The laughter, the excitement, the sharing of stories. What was so horrible about it?!?!?!


I'm the bomb.

You're done agonizing over whose to blame, why you're feeling crazy, and you've removed the rose-coloured glasses and guess what? It's time to take a selfie! You've lost weight, you went to the gym, you've been getting a shit-load of compliments and you're starting to feel awesomazing about yourself. The mission at this point is to cause as much accidents on the road as possible cause you just know people are swervin' and dodgin' over your looks.

BOOM. Explosion!

It's been like three days now and this whole process is amazing. You're glowing, you're flexing your muscles (guys), your pushing up that bra (girls), and you're moving on. Cause you look flawless, right? Wrong. All that excitement has finally fizzled and you're about to explode. This is the part where you throw everything of theirs in the trash, write obscene thoughts down in which you fantasize about murdering the bejesus out of them. You can also punch pillows and shit but for maximum effect, invest in a punching bag.

Should I or shouldn't I, that is the question.

You're passed out in pizza slices with wine and vodka stains all over the god damn floor. You're a mess. You've slept through the last four episodes of Dexter. You haven't showered in well over three days and it's starting to show. You've basically lost all sense of survival; get it together. In your mind, getting it together means accepting that it ended but HELLO, that's not what you want. You desperately search for your cellphone and think you found it when in reality, it's the TV remote. You panic. You NEED to reach them to let them know that it's all a mistake, everything will be okay and let's just forget this happen, k? K.

Yeah, no. Then you realise that this is all one-sided. "What if they don't want the same thing? What if they don't reply? What if they blocked your number? What if they laugh when they see how much you're still caught up?" You look at your phone, you've typed the message already (we're on the same page here, readers. I'm living this - you can't deny it.) and you're thumb is so close to the send button that your fingerprints can basically scratch the surface of your phone. And then you think: "But what if they feel the same? What If they are only waiting for me to write back? Maybe they're just shy or scared of what is going to happen." What to do, right?!


I'll just subtlety let you know I'm still alive. I'll be over here if you change your mind.
I cringe cause I did this. But hey, we're only human right! You've obviously decided NOT to contact the person cause "I'm such a strong individual." The phone is down, but not for long. Instead, you've switched on the Wi-Fi and liked their latest Instagram photo, you poked them on FB, and you shamelessly retweeted their last tweet about popcorn being the best snack out there. You want to tell them you miss them so much but are so afraid of the reaction that you go on this crazy tangent of just creeping the fuck out of them. Don't. Do. This. Go back to Netflix and dirty pizza slices.


Snap back to reality
It's been close to a week by now and you haven't lost all your hair. Your local mall is still up and running. The sky is still blue and Rob Ford is still mayor of Toronto. Clearly, the world didn't end. You decide it's time to shower and shut off Netflix (but omg what will happen in season 8 of Dexter?!?!). You're still talking about them but less frequently. You have occasional bursts of tears and you question absolutely everything. But you've slowly started realising the world outside again. You see people smiling back at you; children waving as you walk by them, head down and solemn. The sun is even peaking to say a short yet welcomed "hello!". You feel like things can get slowly get back to how it was before.


LOL, life's a bitch - it ain't this easy

And then a week and one day passes and you repeat the process. Oh you thought it was over? LOL, life doesn't work that way. If life was easy the saying wouldn't be "Life's a bitch", it would be "Life's a slut." But it ain't easy. There is no recipe for success, or shortcuts to happiness. You have to balance yourself out again and it can take time. So take it, enjoy it, live it. Cry it out, talk it out, laugh it out. The worst thing you can do is censor your emotions for whatever reason: "Because guys don't cry." "Because I want to show him I'm a lady." "Because I don't want them to see me weep." The relationship is over, so worry about yourself and what you have to do to move on and be happy. Life is short, love again.

But...But...But...

There is not but. There is just life and their is time. And both need you right now. It's tempting as fuck to drop everything and rekindle but what if it is worst? What if the person moved on already? What if you're already a memory? Sure it could also be: What if they miss me too? What if they are waiting for my call? But the key words here are: What if?

You don't know. You can't know. It's up to you to decide if you want to put yourself out there or not and risk getting hurt again. It can also be the complete opposite and you might find them responsive to your request. Take a chance if you want. Or don't if that is what you choose. It's a personal decision but hopefully you found laughter and a bit of truth in this blog post. It definitely made me feel better.

If you need to talk or feel alone and have no one to talk to, feel free to contact me. You can find me on facebook by clicking the link on the right or on twitter at @Elevensink or on instagram at @K_kiddo86. You can also leave a comment on here.


Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink.

Eleven's Ink on...Awesomeness!

I often get asked how I feel about one topic or another. I am very opinionated and tend to be a bit more verbose than I should. The fact that I used verbose should be an indicator. The fact that I explained why is just proof beyond proof.


WTF?!:

It takes a lot for me to qualify someone as being genuinely "awesome". There is a trial part where I generally just groove around someone to get a sense of how their fun gravitates around their logic. It's all about balance really: equal parts intelligence, equal parts humour. You need to have both to be worthy of this title.


LOL!!:

Once the X is matched neatly with the Y and a yingyang of LAUGHS! and BRAINS! is created, that is when you start to see the foundation of awesomeness. It's such a fantastic event to witness, this creation of sheer awesomeness. I suggest you bring sunglasses and a bit of wine along for the ride. You've been warned.



OMG!!:
The best part of this trifecta is, you gots it baby, the climax! That is when you see the "ok i'm cool" blossom into "Move bitch, i'm awesome". Seeing that state progress in its natural habitat is rare and should be taken advantage of. Film it, snap a picture - hey draw the fucking event if you have Picasso's talents! Don't have talent? Smudge paint on a canvas like a three year old and call it art. As long as you remember vividly the details of witnessing such perfection.


XOX!!:

Once you've explored the universe of awesomeness, assured it's capabilities of life-support, and landed on Planet Fuck Yeah!, then you are good to remove gear and appreciate the land of awesome. Feel the earth, breathe in the air, run through the meadows, and swim across those oceans of joy and excitement. Be happy that you landed on a planet that welcomes your kind. Be awesome!





Not feeling awesome today? Think of good memories, good people, good food. Think about how awesome you are every other day and how today is going to be jealous. You don't want that. So be awesome again!

Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink

Local Lyrical

I love township pastry shops and, in general, supporting local businesses. There's something oddly rewarding that comes out of helping a neighbour. It's not a reward that can be touched or felt, like gold. It's not a reward that can be seen or heard, like a thank you. It's the kind of reward that warms you, like a hug.

So to all the readers and supporters of this local blog, I ask that you open your ears, stretch those limbs and enjoy the marathon of videos that are provided courtesy of Chali.

I'm kinda sorta, okay really, addicted to his music. There's also a video on Vimeo that you can listen to by clicking here. It's a really good cover/remix/sample/take on F. Ocean's Dying for your Love. Enjoy and spread the word!!

Add Chali on twitter: @Chali819
Join the movement on facebook: facebook/chalimusic


Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink

A remedy for writer's block?

My roommate's mom came over this weekend to help her with organizing her room and seeing them re-arrange her bedroom inspired me to rework what I had into something more suitable and fit for creative writing. An inspiring setting is really important to get the imagination going.

So lo and behold, here is my new writing station:

 

 

I love the space so much! It sucks I didn't take a before pic but just imagine a 27 inch 90's tube tv sitting on the corner of the table. Not much room left to write. Clutter-free-imagination-station!

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

Are you there blog? It's me, Kevin

Ok so i've been totally inactive from this blog for well over two months. And I honestly don't even know why. I have a ton of shit to talk about but I think my problem is: I don't know how to say it.

Sure, I love lists and countdowns but not everything in life can be summed up in a top ten list. And I can't review movies that I didn't like and i've been seeing alot of shitty movies lately. I think I haven't quite figured out the necessity of this blog. Do I want to spark up conversations, or simply relay information I like? Should I use this as a vehicle to drive my writing passion forward or simply mingle "blog stories" with regular blog posts?

You see, I haven't figured out what it is exactly that I want to do with this blog. It's all over the place with no POV (I sound like a judge on The Next Food Network Star) and no bond strong enough to hold it togheter. I was thinking for a while of just changing the name and design for something alot more specific but  I don't like specific. I like all-over-the-place. You see how I get conflicted so easily? I'm a walking contradiction.

So I've decided to continue doing what i'm doing with Wiki Wiki What and that is randomly write shit and then posting it. Seems simple enough. Simple is good. So...yeah...have a nice day and keep reading! :)



Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink

LDR SAT: CAFÉ INC

Have y'all seen the new Nespresso Café commercial? It features "Blue Jeans" by the one and only Lana Del Rey. They apparently chose her song because of the "Olden time, Americana" feel of her voice and style. Finally, someone major recognizes the talent and spectacular AWE of LDR.

Here is the commercial!!

Hopefully people will stop hating on her because of SNL. One performance cannot sum up the talent of the Coney Island Queen!

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink



I ♥ Food - A Top Ten Post

Oh joys of this world. There is laughter, there is fun, there is seasons in the sun. But above all that, there is fucking food. Healthy food, junk food, spicy food, rare food, yucky food. Food is everywhere but really, it should all be in my tummy.


It is my pleasure to list off my top ten favourite food items. It can be a condiment, a meal, a restaurant. Basically, just writing down everything I can't get enough of. And for the simple fact that even Obama knows I like Subway, the great sandwich maker will have to be excluded from the list. I mean, it's Subway - who doesn't love that shit?

This is listed in no particular order because that would just be mean on the food and wayyyy too hard for me to sort out and choose which one I like best.

10. Popcorn

9. Garlic

8. McDonald's cheeseburger

7. Onions

6. Homemade Mac 'n Cheese

5. Pickled Jalapeños

4. Fajitas

3. Pasta Salad

2. Oysters

1. Everything but Cooked Mushrooms

Now I suddenly want popcorn-oyster fajitas... damn it.

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

Warm Bodies. Cold Bodies. Dead Bodies.

I love zombies. Duhrr!


I have breaking news. I mean, its news for people who have an equally disturbing love for zombies. If the walking dead ain't your thing, then turn around and walk away. But make it quick, I feel a fever coming on...

That was a zombie joke up there! Totally dying of laughter here! Okay - so back to the serious soft tissue at hand. The super-zealous rom-novel Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion is being produced for the big screen. Now that comes to no surprise to me since everything YA is being made into PG so might as bloody well adapt the next best thing in YAfiction.

Warm Bodies is a tale of two lovers unable to find its balance. One is human. One is a zombie. Seems suuuuuuuper ridiculous but it is quite the opposite. Sure it plays on zombie stereotypes - what art form doesn't, right? - but where most mediums exploit the slapstick, Warm Bodies embraces it as if it wasn't infected at all!

There is no release date yet but I plead y'all to go out and buy/read this book because once the movie comes out you will all be like:

"Where did I hear that title before and why is everyone so excited about a zombie love story?"

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

it's bEARTHday!!

bEARTHday - a special time of year dedicated to the celebration of Earth & all its Glory and of course, me! Yes, it's my birthday today! It's a very climatic year for me since it will be my last in my mid-twenties. After that i'll be 27 - at which point I will start saying I am in my late twenties. That part scares me. Dramatically. I still feel like i'm 18, no kidding!

Oh well, as long as i'm not thirty!

Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink

MY BIRTHDAY LIST

Since my birthday is coming up soon - April 22nd - I figure I'd have some fun and share my bday list. Who doesn't like asking for presents? This will be a piece of cake! (get it...cake...birthday...)

MY BIRTHDAY LIST

10. A Horse - Not because I want one but it seems mandatory

9. Home Gym

8. The Harry Potter DVD Collection!

7. Lana Del Rey Private Concert

6. A GOOD Kettle. One that doesn't chip, leak, or conspire to set your house on fire each and every time you use the goddamn wretched thing!!!!

5. A Lifetime Supply of Cheese Curds

4. A Meeting with Stephen King

3. A Clone of Myself. He does the working.

2. $50 Million Dollars

1. A Fucking Vaccum that Actually Vaccums.

If only I could get half of that list including #2, I'd be happy!

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

Whatever Wednesday: Penny Goodbye!

Well, it is time to say au revoir to our brown coin. With the announcement of the new budget, it has been decided that production of the Canadian penny will stop this Fall.

It's going to be weird not seeing 2,3,4,6,7,8,9's in the total price. Everything will finish with either a 5 or a 0. That concept scares me.

Another thing i'm deadly afraid of is the 0.01$ candies. What will happen to them? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THEM?

*Sigh* Life as we know it changes again.

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink



Louise Attaque Dalida!

I know I know. Death is rarely compared to "Feelgood" but I really want to share with you a song from Italian/Egyptian songstress Dalida. I have a co-worker with whom I share videos and songs, mostly for fun, and we share dance beats usually,but lately I have really been digging the downtempo genre (I.E. Lana Del Rey) and so it just came naturally for me to enjoy the music of Dalida. 


This morning I really wanted to break away from listening to LDR all day, not that I like her less - far from - but because I craved good ole, French-Canadian music. So went to my trusted sidekick Youtube and began listening to Les Respectables, Jervais, Vincent Vallière, and my more recent crush: Louise Attaque.

When I sent my favourite song of Louise Attaque to my colleague, she replied with a video of Dalida. The name meant nothing to my modern era ears. So I innocently pressed play and suddenly, just like that, a new drug was presented to me.

Dalida has lived a very odd life - 3 of her lovers AND her closest friend commited suicide - which led her down a triumphant path that ended in tragedy. In 1987, After years of turmoil and guilt, Dalida decided to end her own life and join the men that loved her so.

With this being said, here is Dalida's Ciao Amore Ciao, a tale of love lost and eternal life.

It's also Friday, so go balls out and listen to N***** in Paris by Yay and Jay. That shit cray!


Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink

Top Ten Coolest Jobs!

Last week I asked my friends on Facebook for suggestions for a top ten list and they came through! Suggested by Julie, I will share with you the ten jobs I would love to be paid for! I was soooo suppose to post this yesterday. But I had an awesome BBQ at my folks' place and couldn't resist the beer and the fun! Double Posts Today!! 




10. Pyrotechnician
What they do: Set off fireworks!
Why it's cool: Um, because they set off fireworks! They basically have front row tickets to the show.


9. Videogame Tester
What they do: Test videogames!
Why it's cool: You sit down, play exclusive games that may not even see the public eye, judge it, AND get paid for it. It's like the laziest job evaaa!


8. Ice Cream Developer
What they do: Create ice cream flavours!
Why it's cool: It's like a kid fantasy come true. You work in a lab of sorts and mix ingredients you love into another ingredient you love - ice cream. Yumm-o!


7. Train Pusher
What they do: Push people into subway trains...As in squeezing as many people in as possible.
Why it's cool: It's no so much cool as it is weird. Just watch the video, it's like something out of a sci-fi movie. lol

6. International Spy
What they do: Creep around the world!
Why it's cool: You get to travel around the world, all expenses paid and be part of some secret missions that only a select few know about. Basically, you're James fucking Bond.


5. Beer Brewer
What they do: Create awesome flavours of Beer!
Why it's cool: Many reasons: First, you get to invent your own fucking beer - And then drink it. It's such an art when you watch the Brewers in action. Love it!


4. Ambassador
What they do: Reprezent!!
Why it's cool: Well, you get to work "in your country" yet be abroad. You speak your language and get to see really fucked up things. Your life can and will be in danger. I'm sure its not as exciting. But I see it that way. :)


3. International Singer
What they do: Party all over the world!
Why it's cool: You get to have millions of people throw themselves at you, you get paid to party and advertise really fucking cool companies. I mean, the only downside is having temptations around you.


2. Rollercoaster Ride Tester
What they do: Test Rollecoasters!
Why it's cool: Once again you get paid to have fun! People are hired by theme parks around the world to test the level of fun of their rides, and sometimes to check safety features. The thrill! The excitement!


1. Author/Screenwriter
What they do: Writes!
Why it's cool: I'm biased because this is my dream. Having millions of people wanting more of your imagination is just mind boggling. You escape your reality and get paid for it. I swear this list is all about doing nothing for cash.

 

What job has you drooling? I'm not very ambitious, am I?

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

LDRA?

I have not had a musical obsession in yeeeears. Come to think of it, the last artist to make my heart flutter and my ears melt with ecstacy was Alanis Morissette. Yeah like 15 years ago.

It's quite hard to put into words how I feel about Lana Del Rey (real name: Elizabeth Grant). Trust me, I've tried being coherent. Doesn't work.

**Please note you will not find any illegally-downloaded music of hers here. Part of becoming a fan of someone is hunting down their work. However hard it is to find. (I'm lookin' at you Jimmy Necco!!)**


Like a great deal of people, I didn't know about Lana Del Rey until earlier this year, when my cousin texted me to let me know (I) JUST HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS NEW CHICK. Now, when it comes to music, I don't tend to listen to other peoples suggestions - nothing pretentious, I just know alot of music since I listen to pretty much everything.

So open a new tab, click on youtube link, enter VIDEO GAMES LANA DEL REY.

My world has changed since that search on youtube. Yup, so not the same person. I've become a net junkie, something I never was nor ever thought I'd claim to be. But here I am, searching the net for everything and anything Del Rey; Interviews, Music Vids, Promos, Songs, Stories. I even followed through with my oooold twitter account just to get newer news from the Del Rey herself.

What caught my attention at first was her odd yet seductive look; edgy but not marginal, classy but not typical. I must admit, Video Games did not attract me at all at first. It was a new sound, one I had long forgotten since the times of Portishead and Morcheeba.

When the clip was done and over with, I had to see what else was out there. I haven't stopped since. lol. As I gradually became accustomed to her sultry voice and deep tones, I found myself enjoying her more melodic, personal tunes (see Jump, Queen of the Gas Station, and Trash/Trash Magic/Miss America - she apparently couldn't find a suitable title as the song appears on Youtube under three different titles) rather then her more radio-friendly fares such as Video Games and Born to Die.

This so-called obsession could have passed had I not heard Dark Paradise and Money Hunny. The perfect blend of hip-hop and folk, trip-hop and blues, modern jazz and classic pin-up. This woman has everything and it flows out so naturally.

The lyrics are obviously very personal to Del Rey as many words or phrases come back again and again such as : Chateau Marmont, Daddy, Red Dress, Lipstick, Honey. She has a passion for Old Hollywood glamour and flare, as apparent by her numerous nods to pearls, big hair do's, and stars of that era (Elvis, James Dean).

She has so much love to give and it is so very obvious in how she talks and just generally interacts with fans. We can expect only better from this fresh talent, mainly because she still has a shitload of awesome songs that have yet to be re-released. You see, Lana Del Rey bought back the rights to her previous album and is (allegedly) going to re-release them. *crossing fingers*

I even made a little rap about how anxious I am for Lana Del Rey to release her old songs so we can listen to them freely and hopefully in better quality. You Can Be The Boss, for example, could benefit from a musical facelift!!

Ohmygod! An EP release

I need my L-D-R fix!

Gimme that treat

So I can stop my tricks

and listen to the beat

beat, beat, beat,beat,beat

Lana Del Rey

Beautiful Day

Cigarette Tray

And a Glass of Chardonnay

Oh man. It'll be a while before I ever get tired of Lana Del Rey. I can't remeber how it was before I started listening to her songs at work. All day. Every day.

LDRA? Lana Del Rey Anonymous?

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

The Ants Have Won!

For centuries upon centuries, ants have been on a mission. I'm sure you know what I am talking about. Before Yogi Bear ever attempted to snatch picnic baskets, ants had claimed that woven treasure as their own.

And on April 19th, the ants will come and take Picnik away.


If you've never had the chance to use this awesome photo-altering website, please hurry; there is only one month left before the basket closes and moves to a more defined yet limited Google+.

All of the features have been unlocked, which means you can do anything with your pictures for FREE. As in you don't have to pay for the membership to do shit like this:

I used celebrities here to show what you can achieve with the website, but you can use Picnik for your own photos. And there is a lot of features you can use to upgrade or downgrade your pics. Have fun and go explore the picnik basket!

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

The Elephant is a Gentleman!

So I was basically suppose to do a Top Ten list yesterday of the coolest jobs ever but got caught up with a friend and nostalgia kinda took over our night. I will do the Top Ten Coolest Jobs next week because the research for it has already been done courtesy of the bestest website ever.


So I asked my Facebook pals to help me find a topic for Top Ten Thursdays and one of my friends - that resides in New Brunswick (Salut Julie!) - suggested I tackle the coolest jobs ever. I searched google to find odd jobs or rather obscure jobs that most people would desire (OMG - do you all know what goes down at Google Headquarters? I so wanna work there!)

It brought me to an interesting website called toptenz.net.

I seriously forgot all about work and started going down the many different lists, ranging from lost artifacts to best disney movies. It has it all.

It's also where I discovered my new favourite animal: the Dugong!!!! It was about time too: I've never had a favourite animal apart from the Elephant. I capitalize the first letter of my favourite animals because they almost become God-like in my eyes. lol.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still eerily obsessed with Elephants. My first tattoo will most likely be an Elephant but that might be in yeeears to come!!

And here is the Dugong, an endangered ocean dweller who once lived on land. It is the last species of the Dugongidae family. It's crazy how humans can literally hunt other mammals to extinction. :(

Look at that! He seems so gentle. I want one. It is now on top of my bucket list.


...

3. Finding a cure to Cancer

2. WORLD PEACE!

1. Owning a Dugong.

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink





I Have Paruresis...I Think.

I know, I'm like WTF is Paruresis too! Here, let me explain.


I have a very common problem with my bladder. You see, if my body is around other bodies - scratch that - If I am anywhere near human population, my bladder will not relieve itself. It's like:

"Fuck you, I'm not evacuating myself here."

And since I also have other urinary problems - in which I have the major urge to pee whenever I drink any form of liquid, and can't pee while in a moving vehicle (train, plane) - I'm über limited in where and when I can pee. You can imagine the scenarios. And so I decided to do a bit of research that led me to Paruresis.

I was hoping for a physical diagnosis but upon discovering this very common ailment, I was surprised to find that Paruresis is a phobia mostly found amongst males. Basically, I'm not alone!!

According to wikipedia, it carries various synonyms such as: bashful bladder, stage fright, urophobia, shy bladder, and psychogenic urinary retention. From now on, I'm so using the last one!! They also mention the possibility of managing the phobia, but they suggest medication such a prozac and zoloft...

Um...yeah I prefer taking the extra time to find a single occupancy bathroom, thank you very much.

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink

Black Friday

This day is reserved for light-hearted fun only. NO KONY 2012 dialogue here!!

Everyone needs a day off, right? We can't always be serious and catch up on the latest tragedy across the globe. I'm pretty sure that's why He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named invented Fridays. And it's impossible to use that word in any shape, way, or form since Rebecca Black.

And yet the word Friday has appeared in countless songs. And some just as terrible as Black's unanimously loathed "Friday". I discovered she isn't the only, nor the first, one who sang about every single day of the week being lame BUT Friday. What's up with that?

Lily Allen - Friday Night

Bowling for Soup - Friday

The Easybeats - Friday on my Mind

Aqua - Freaky Friday

The Cure - Friday I'm In Love

It's Friday, Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!

Candles are out,

Eleven's Ink



The Tyrese Sessions - Awareness Raps

Who knew Amber Tamblyn (Joan of Arcadia, The Unsuals, 127 hours) could be so damn funny?


Tamblyn released an e-mail conversation she had with singer/actor/model Tyrese Gibson (Fast & Furious franchise, Transformers franchise) in which he had misaken her for Amber Rose (Kanye's ex, Wiz Khalifa's fiancé). You see, Amber Tamblyn's email is Amberrose@whatever.com, with Rose being the actress' middle name.

Both Tamblyn and Tyrese were CC'd in the same e-mail and so Tyrese took the opportunity to talk business - and possibly flirt - with who he thought to be Amber Rose.

Still following?

Thinking all of this would be very funny, Tamblyn went along with the name confusion and made up some hilarious demos about the current women's health crisis in the States and shared them with Tyrese. Wait for "All in Favour" - you'll pee your pants, laughing!!

Well, here's the copy of the e-mail as well as Amber Tamblyn's message to Tyrese (who has been less then kind upon hearing about the release of the e-mail and demos. Don't know why, this is funny as hell!)

*please note, the videos have been added in the place where Tamblyn uploaded her "demos". I don't have soundcloud so had to use youtube videos. But you get the jist of it.


Tyrese Gibson (of Fast and Furious and Transformers) saw my name cc’d on an email that a mutual friend sent out and thought I was the model ex girlfriend of Kanye West, Amber Rose. (My middle name is Rose and my email adress is registered as Amber Rose). I’ve never met Tyrese before. He pulled my email addy from that cc list and emailed me wanting to work on an album together. So I recorded my demos on my iPhone and sent them to him. I guess you could call them Awareness Raps? I am the Hilary Clinton of Ghostface Killahs.

Below are all the email correspondences I had with Tyrese as well as the songs I sent him.

DISCLAIMER: Tyrese is a very sweet guy with good intentions who made a mistake and I, being an actress and engaged to a comedian, could not help myself. Tyrese, please accept my 87% hearfelt apology for stringing you along. I think we could have made beatufiul music together.

THE EMAIL:

On Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 11:41 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Hit me now … ***.***.****
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

 Amber Rose Wrote:
Sorry boo I would but my neighbors is really into exotic animals and I promised I would go over and see their new baby Ball Python.
On Sat, Feb 25, 2012 at 9:04 PM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
On this new album it’s whatever..
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Feb 26, 2012, at 10:16 AM, Amber Rose T wrote:
lol u are so sweet boo I’ve been trying to get this album goin for so long u know how it is. Attached is the single demo I’ve been workin on… not finished yet but soon! Thanks to u boo lol. I will send you more demos soon. You will have demos comin out ur demos!!
lol

On Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 10:55 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
We can make it real …. I’m sitting on a lot of magic … Let me know when ur in LA .. We can play until we customize AR
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Feb 26, 2012, at 11:03 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
I like the way you think. The music is just temp tracks but the lyrics and songs are my babies. Attached is another one. I’m so happy you are feelin’ these! God Bless
lol
Love 4Ever

On Sun, Feb 26, 2012 at 11:21 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
That song was not it … Not even remotely …. Just keepin it real
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Feb 26, 2012, at 11:29 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
Thank you so much for keepin it really real, T. That last one I was just messin around with. The first one I sent called Dancefloor Etiquette” is important to the feministical evolution and fourth wave movement of Woman-Beats and Girl-Music. Ya know? NEWayz,
I will send more! Demos and demos
lol….xA

On Wed, Feb 29, 2012 at 11:33 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
What u on?
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Feb 29, 2012, at 12:43 PM, Amber Rose wrote:
Virgin America!

On Wed, Feb 29, 2012 at 12:47 PM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Hit me when u land Pluto lady .. I got some shit in the stash Hope I’m not wasting my time ..
I got 6 hot ones for u ***.***.****
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Mar 1, 2012, at 11:23 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
Here listen to these 2 first…What do you think? Then we can talk. ON THE REAL talk.

On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 11:26 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
That was trash …. Sorry .. At this point I don’t even believe this is Amber …. I’m cool …
Good luck on your career … One
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Mar 1, 2012, at 11:40 AM, Amber Rose wrote:
Wow…okay. Sorry you feel that way. To each his own I suppose. These do mean something to me. They are from my heart and I feel like there is an important message in each and every song. But okay, good luck on your career as well. OH AND BY THE WAY – For the record, this is really Amber.
Best,
Amber Rose Tamblyn

On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 11:47 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Didn’t sound like u on the songs
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 11:47 AM, Tyrese Gibson wrote:
Here’s something ONLY YOU would know … One night we left what party..? And u dropped me off where..??
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

On Mar 1, 2012, at 12:00 PM, Amber Rose wrote:
I don’t know what you’re talking about. What party?
Best,
Amber Rose Tamblyn

Tyrese Gibson ************* to me show details 12:20 PM (46 minutes ago)
Never-mind ..
Respectfully,
Tyrese Gibson

I have a feeling we haven't heard the last of Tamblyn's awareness raps...

Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink