Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Reality TV Afterschool Special

Who would ever think that Reality TV would have evolved into this. Forget the most watched game shows, the talent show bonanzas and the awful dating shows that rarely result in anything other then dramatic cat fights. TV land is now plastered with Teen Mom 1 & 2 (!!), How Can She Date Him, Jersey Shore, Holly's World, Kendra, and the now-contreversial Bridalplasty. Am I the only one who still enjoys the likes of Big Brother, Survivor, Amazing Race; you know character-building reality TV shows?

Teen Mom
I would rather die a painful death (I.E Chinese torture, anyone?!) then have to sit through an entire episode of this wretched, and morally wrong television show. It follows a teenage girl who has a child. Back in the days they were disgraced from the family for having pre-marital sex. Now they are given their own television show and seem to make being a teen mom "cool and hip". Where's Bristol Palin? Or Jamie Lynn Spears? Riiight, they gave up their childhood to become parents. D'uh, it's cool now!

Conclusion: Baby before diploma can create excellent tv drama!

How Can She Date Him
I just realised this show existed last night and will never watch this again. Who is this much of a douchebag and what kind of woman can hang around that for so long? Actors, that's who! So mostly anyone knows that MTV is the king of scripted reality but this show is off the hook with drama after drama, layered with fake tears and smothered in scripted emotions. It's still funny watching some asshole tell his girlfriend he can go back in the bar but she can't because "women are different, they don't want sloppy drunks". She hadn't had a drink yet. Yeah.

Conclusion: How can you watch this?

Jersey Shore
So I have a soft spot for Snookie and her crew of delinquant roomies. Let's be honest, the show could be entirely revamped as Snookie and the Drunks, and we wouldn't care. They may be mentally challenged alcoholics blown up on steroids and GTL but who doesn't end up loving this badass crew from Jersey? They are truly endearing and any group of people who care for each other (slightly) can attract a viewership. Now if only they could get rid of that talking drunk duck Diana, Deana, what's her name?

Conclusion: Love it or hate it. Just watch it!

Holly's World
Oh God. One of Hef's Girl Next Door gets her own reality television show where camera crews follow her daily...stuff as she also highlights her Las Vegas burlesque show Peepshow. This show falls flat on so many levels. Instead of being a really good behind-the-scenes documentary style drama, it focuses on her daily life with her dumbass friends and their dumbass fake drama. This show would have been off-the-charts had they decided to be more serious and follow her behind the red curtain when the show is over. Changing room, anyone?

Conclusion: Do not travel anywhere near this world!

Another one of Hef's blonde bombshell, this time one with actual charisma and facial expression. Where Holy fails, Kendra succeeds. She was made for television this one. Her laugh is addictive and her playful relationship with her family is genuine. And there is something about seeing an ex-junkie make something for herself. And what of that episode where she is freaked out by a noise in the basement only to discover it's her missing vibrator. Hilarious!

Conclusion: Skip Holly's World and fly on over to Kendra's.

Can you have a trashier premise for a reality TV show? Brides compete to have the wedding of their dreams and, yeah you guessed it, plastic surgery galore. I can't judge the quality of the show as I only catched a 10 minute glimpse on TV but what I saw from it was just another roasting dramatic meltdown caused by hormonal women competing to change their looks so their husbands can marry them. Seriously, is this what the world has come to? Who wants to marry a blonde clone? I mean, real men that aren't insecure about their looks don't want to marry a barbie.

Conclusion: If you're trashy and you know it clap your hands!

What kind of reality shows do you find distasteful? Comment! And share!

Candles are out,
Eleven's Ink

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