Monday, May 30, 2011

Top 10 Science Fiction Movies that Will NOT Make your Headspin

I was discussing favourite movies with a colleague of mine and it came to me, fairly quickly may I add, that most of the movies I was listing off were science-fiction movies. Not all of them were hard science, but most of them I found confused the people I was talking to. And it had me pondering, "are science-fiction movies that confusing?" and then I thought of Inception and said to myself: yup, I need to set the record straight and make a top ten list of science fiction movies that are NOT mind-shaterring.

I include The Matrix even though I was confused until only a few years ago lol.


10. The Matrix (1999)

Director: Larry and Andy Wachowski
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne, and Hugo Weaving (!!!)
What's it about: This is much about man's fight against the machine in a time where there isn't much "man" left in the world. A ragtag group of rebels plug themselves into an alternate world, known as The Matrix, to wake people up from the "machine" and bring them back to the real world where they can fight off whatever it is that is destroying their world.
Bottom line: People are sleeping in tubes, people are awaken from tubes. People fight big bad.


9. Back to the Future (1985)

Director: Robert Zemeckis
Starring: Christopher Lloyd, Michael J. Fox, Lea Thompson, and Crispin Glover (!!!)
What's it about: A teenage boy with teenage boy problems meets a loony-bin scientist with a bad habit of being clumsy in horrible times. They become chummy-chummy and soon they go forward to the past and Back to the Future! This movie establishes certain rules of time-travelling without being all Hawkings about it.
Bottom line: Don't touch anything or you may never be born at all. Oh and flying skateboards!


8. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (Any version!)

Remake Galore:There has been so many versions of this movie, like this one, this one, this one, and this one that I hardly know where to begin. If you choose to venture into the world of creepy avatars, then I would suggest the 1978 version with Donald Sutherland because, well, it's Donald fucking Sutherland.
What's it about: Humans are on the verge of annihalation without even knowing. Pods have fallen from the sky and soon what is inside them invades our planet. They infiltrate our body and while we sleep, a new one is produced that looks exactly like us. You cannot hide. You cannot run. They are everywhere. (um..creepyyy)
Bottom line: Once you see this movie, it kinda gets stuck inside your head. No pun intended.


7. Alien (1979)

Director: Ridley Scott
Starring: Sigourney Weaver. Not naming the rest of the cast cause The Weaver surpasses them all.
What's it about: This one is definitaly hard-science as their is a lot of lingo that even I don't understand, although I consider myself, now, a sci-fi guy. A crew aboard a very nifty spaceship respond to what they believe is an SOS signal and land on a deserted planet to see if they can help. Yeah, no, RUUUUUN!!!
Bottom line: Scary as hell, and great at initiating the anti-syfy's to spaceships, aliens, and Ripley. Oh, Ripley.

The Original Mother Monster

6. Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)

Director: The great honourable James Cameron
Starring: Linda Hamilton (!!!), Edward Furlong, Robert Patrick, and Arnold S -(going back to other screen to see spelling of name, right!!) - CH(oops mistake already) - ARZENNEGER. there.
What's it about: Judgement day is looming, it will happen any day now. A future John Connor has programmed a terminator to help him and his mom in the past so that humans can avoid Judgement Day and destroy the machines. Togheter, they must set aside their differences to stop one hell of a mother-fucking melting machine that creeped me out as a child!! Robert Patrick to me IS the T-1000.
Bottom line: Our favourite heroine ever (besides Ripley, don't make me lazer your eye out!) must team up with the terminator that was sent back from the future to murder her in the first installment, to track down and destroy the terminator that is back from the future to murder her son. Wait a minute...

5. Star Trek (2009)

Director: J.J. Abrams
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Eric Bana, and Zoe Saldana (!!!)
What's it about: A young, straight-out-of-school team of Starfleet cadets are thrusted into a on-going war between the Vulcans and an old nemesis known as Nero. This is not your parent's Star Trek!!It is slightly confusing until the matter is explained near the super-awesome ending. This movie is worth the watch for two reasons: J.J Abrams and Simon Pegg as "Beam me up, Scottie!"
Bottom line: Explains fairly well the certain rules of Space-Time Travelling and Black Holes. Great storytelling and modern enough to entice any sy-fy haters to join the trekkies!

4. Donnie Darko (2001)

Director: Richard Kelly
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Jena Malone, Patrick Swayze, Drew Barrymore, Maggie Gyllenhall, and Noah Wyle
What's it about: A disturbed teenage boy (Jake Gyllenhaal in one of his first movies) has visions of a very scary-looking rabbit that tells him the world is about to end. This movie was produced by Drew Barrymore who saw this film as a modern-age "joan of arc". She said it, not I!
Bottom line: Sheer genius! This is defo the sy-fy movie you want to watch if you're thinking you might suffer from syfyllium, the rare disease that causes the victim to become hugely engrossed in syfy movies. And watch for Jena Malone who tries so desperatly to shy away from her "that bitch from stepmom" role.

(also look for a young Daveigh Chase - Samara from The Ring - who has a small, teeny-tiny role as Samantha Darko. She comes back eight years later to reprise her role in S.Darko, the sequel)

3. Avatar (2009)

Director: The glorious James Cameron
Starring: Blue people and bad humans
What's it about: Greedy Americans have found a new planet to destroy. Technology is not what we know and soon the humans can - is it explained in the movie? (idk, I can't remember) - move their souls from the human host to the Na'ri hosts, hence the title Avatar. Some of the American Evils want to exploit the natural ressources of Pandora and will stop at nothing to obtain Unobtainium.
Bottom line: This whole movie is jizz-in-my-pants worthy. It was MADE for the syfy community and thankfully, the world embraced it as well and helped it become the #1 grossing movie of all time. Just sayin'.

2. Twelve Monkeys (1995)

Director: The great Terry Gilliam
Starring: Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, and Madeleine Stowe (where have you been Madeleine??)
What's it about: A man is sent to the past in an insane asylum to discover what killed off most of Earth's population. Haven't seen this movie in forever so I don't remember much but it was creepy, and it was good. And I watched this with a young mind, so anyone can understand this even though it is considered hard science.
Bottom line: Bruce Willis and Madeleine Stowe "disturbia"-ing through a mental hospital is quite the adventure! Great way to start your Syfy obession. »Do it! Also look for a younger Chris Meloni, for all you Law & Order:SVU / Oz fans out there!!

1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)

Director: Michael Gondry
Starring: Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Mark Ruffalo, Elijah Wood, Tom Wilkinson, and Kirsten Dunst
What's it about: Jim Carrey meets a very beautiful woman, played by Kate Winslet. They fall madly in love but soon discover the truths of a commited relationship. This one isn't hard-science at all so it's the best way to ease into the syfy world. It's a science fiction movie hidden beneath a love story. Targeted Memory Eradication doesn't exist yet. But if you want to know the consequences and beauty of it, check out this flick!
Bottom line: Remember to watch the movie about Memory Loss. REMEMBER!!

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