We're far enough away from camp to discuss freely and without fear of being overheard. It snowed quite a bit overnight and Felix and I are now standing in about a foot of snow. Although these people welcomed us onto their island and into their safezone, I still feel like something is wrong. As if we shouldn't feel safe, we shouldn't be here.
"What are you talking about a cure? What do they know, Felix? What did they tell you?" I ask him back to back, giving him no chance to actually answer.
"They didn't..." Felix lowers his voice and makes sure nobody is around, "they didn't tell me anything, only asked me questions. That Connor guy did most of the quizzing; and Charlie, I don't think these people are as friendly as they pretend to be."
I absorb what he says, look around the camp and rest my eyes on Malory; her red hair falling flawlessly around her creamy white skin. She's kneeled down in front of the girl from the docks - Leila - and they are sharing a heated conversation. I look back at Felix.
"We're leaving tonight. And we're taking their boat."
*****
Sweet peas. Haven't had any of those in over a month, since Felix and I raided that corner store in Romero, Texas. It feels like forever ago since that happened, since we met Aleksandra, since she gunned down David. I don't even feel like myself anymore; Hell, I'm not myself anymore.
Looking down at the can of peas, I come to realise how much I've changed. I don't think the same - It's my life before anyone else's now. I don't feel the same - I'm neither scared nor secure, but somewhere dark in the middle where emotions aren't felt, they're suppressed. I don't see the same - everyone around me is a threat and they are out to get me. And most important of all, I must think for two now - little baby and I. Little baby.
I use to dream up names for infants I didn't even have yet. I had always like Elizabeth for a girl and Joshua for a boy but now that it's actually going to happen - I'm going to have a baby - I can't even think of what to name it. I rub my belly when I hear a noise behind me.
I turn around to find Leila by the door.
"What are you doing?" She asks, her eyes fixed on the can of peas in my hand.
"Um, just looking around. I was hungry." I put the can back on the shelf and try not to show how scared I am. Imagine that, being scared of a little girl when i've been confronted with worst. A lot worst.
"We don't touch the food. Malory distributes it at night. She didn't tell you?"
"No, I guess she didn't."
There is an awkward moment that passes but it does just that, passes. Leila smiles and grabs my hand.
There is an awkward moment that passes but it does just that, passes. Leila smiles and grabs my hand.
"Come, someone has arrived on the island!"
Before I have the time to object, she pulls me out of the cabin and into the frigid November air.
Before I have the time to object, she pulls me out of the cabin and into the frigid November air.