David was prepared for this. There's gas cans in the back, canned goods neatly placed in a box beside the thirty gallons of water. I found women's clothing as well. Maybe he was fighting it out with someone else, like Felix and I.
All of that doesn't even matter anymore. David is dead. Aleksandra must have stayed back and followed us into Del Rio. She knew what I thought of David, knew my deep feelings for him. She murdered him in cold blood. Felix has tried to reassure me, tell me everything will be okay but it won't. Nothing will ever be the same. We have been left for dead by our God.
"What are you thinking about?" Felix asks me as we pass the sign which once informed drivers that they were nearing Oklahoma City. With the zombie infection, we now see those signs as warnings. Cities are dangerous now.
I turn to look at him. His eyes are sulken and the skin around them is puffy and dark. God has left us for dead. "Thinkin' about how our God abandoned us here."
"God has nothing to do with this." Felix says, trying to reassure me. He keeps his eyes on the road.
"Right. He only created us, has nothing to do with destroying us. Get it." I'm being mean to him again. I can't help it. I doubt he would be interested in me back in the old world. I know he wasn't. I declared my love for him in front of the whole school and he denied me a response and only laughed. He changed, I know that. But the situation we are in has left him with only one choice. Me.
"You are still alive, Charlie. Don't you think He has something to do with it?"
"Everyone I cared for is dead. Don't preach to me, Felix, it won't work. Anyhow, I stopped believing in Him way before any of all this happened."
"Then why do you feel abandonned by Him?" Felix asks me.
"Can we change the subject? I'm sorry I even brought it up."
"Yeah. Check the stations, we haven't done it in a while."
Since we left Del Rio last week we have been checking the radio several times a day, hoping to find a broadcast of survivors at the least, one from the US army at best. Nothing but static noise responded. Our plan was to head north into the forests. I read in several books that zombies tend to freeze quicker then humans, therefore unable to attack us.
Felix and I had made a pact though that a strong broadcast message could influence our destination but only if both people felt safe about the decision.
I play with the tuner, going up the dials but still there is nothing. I sigh and look out the window. The landscape has changed so much; i've never been passed Amarillo, Texas - where daddy's sister Camilla lives. It's so cold up here and as we contour Oklahoma city, the first snow falls. Even for mid-october, snow in these parts of the southern states is rare. Our atmosphere is changing.
"I think we'll be able to go into the big cities from here on out." Felix suggests as we enter Norman, Oklahoma.
"I don't know if that's such a good idea. There's much worst then zombies lurking around now, Felix. Who knows, Canada might even be safe. America can be quarantined for all we know."
"No, Aleks even said she saw news reports of attacks in Japan and England before all of this went down here. No, you know it as much as me. They spread fast." Felix says as he pulls over in front of a pharmacy. The casual mention of her name shoots an arrow of pain in my heart. David is dead. This town is dead. A few zombies walk here and there but nothing threatening.
Felix steps out of the Jeep but not before I suggest going in instead of him. "You keep watch, i'll go in."
He gives me a suspicious look, mainly because it's always been Felix who has went inside the stores we looted. He finally concedes and gets back inside the Jeep. I give him a kiss and make him promise he won't leave me behind.
The pharmacy is completly trashed. I don't stop to look, I know exactly what I want. The aisles are completly ransacked and it takes me some time before I find what it was I came in for. Among the opened pill bottles and scattered boxes of allergy medicine, I find the blue box that can answer my question. I pick it up and read the small print below the brand name. Clear Blue. Get a clear answer.
I pull down my pants and squat right there in Norman's only Pharmacy. I follow procedure and get back up, I don't even bother to pull up my pants. It promises results within minutes. The longest time delay of my life. I can't have a baby. Not now. Not ever.
Something begins to appear in the circular frame that is suppose to tell if i'm with child or not. The words finally appear on the little screen. Pregnant 2-3. I drop the stick to the ground and remain stiff, my pants around my ankle. Felix walks in and it takes some time before I notice him.
"What are you doing?" He asks me, a puzzled look on his face.
"Um, had to pee." I pull up my pants, grab a box of tampons to throw him off the scent and walk back out. "Nothing good to loot." I say as I pass him.
He lingers there for a second and then walks out of the pharmacy without saying a word. Something tells me he knows what I did.